Covid-19 lockdown: SA is slaying it as a country of paradoxes

The age-old philosophical conundrum of whether a tree makes a sound when it falls in the forest if there’s no one there to hear it took on a new meaning on Sunday. Uncle Cyril took to our TV screens to issue a stern uitkak for all those that think they’re COVID-19 proof and have been partying like it’s March 14 2020.

‘Keep the canary alive in the coal mine’

It was brutal this week. Our economy, already suffering a nauseating number of unemployed, seems to be developing the same horrible momentum of the COVID 19 infection rate. The difference is most of us will get through the pandemic, not all of us will survive the economic contagion.

Sho’t Left solution for hard-pressed national Treasury

The taxi industry flexed its muscles on Monday and Gauteng, the country’s economic heartland, immediately took the hit. People arrived late for work – whether they were on board taxis or stuck behind them. Some didn’t even make it.

If ‘All Lives Mattered’ we wouldn’t need a movement

All Lives Matter. The people who bang this drum are invariably the same who will fight to the last breath, when you declare All Men Are Trash. The truth is All Lives Don’t Matter because if they did, we wouldn’t have to have a movement declaring that Black Lives Matter.

Prohibition fever is enough to drive one to drink

The Transport Department believes that alcohol is turning South Africa into a banana republic. That’s what department spokesperson Collen Msibi told the media this week, explaining the department’s bid to eliminate drunken driving through the National Road Traffic Amendment Act, reducing the allowed amount of alcohol in a driver’s bloodstream to almost nil.

Evil is malevolent violence but ‘Donker Jonker’ may disagree

Not even the South African Satanic Church, registered mere weeks before the lockdown, will dare to hold its first public service. Just exactly how they will eventually physically celebrate their beliefs and with what rituals and texts is still highly unknown – to protect the identities of its adherents, who might otherwise be victimised in polite South African society.

Clap, clang, clatter, do things that matter

In Britain, there’s an initiative that takes place every night. The locals apparently clap outside their homes in symbolic gratitude for the heroic efforts of the country’s National Health Service (NHS).

More confusion during these Covid-19 confusing times

By the beginning of next month, you should be able to drag deep on a cigarette, before heading off to the bottle store to stock up on your favourite tipple – depending on where your surname is on the alphabet.

Lockdown mania: free criminals, arrest tots and gogos

We are living through perhaps the biggest – and longest – period of restrictions in the country’s history. The demands placed on South Africans, as President Cyril Ramaphosa has noted, have been onerous, but generally they have been complied with by a public who understood the need for them.